winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
