Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize