this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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