what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Pants are for mortals
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
