i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
