Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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