Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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