Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can you bring me the toilet please
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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