I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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