So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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