Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize