thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
