so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
