I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Quick, to the slutcave!
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We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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