yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
