I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I have demons in me.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
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I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
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I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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