Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Randomize
