I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
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Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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