p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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