decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
