i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just googled if crying burns calories
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
