Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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