I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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