as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
