I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
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We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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