I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
