so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
