it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
