party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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