im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My hand turned me down
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
