Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
