Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
