I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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