i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
