..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
