Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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