I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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