now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
