that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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