is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
