He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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