The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
