Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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