can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
