You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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