i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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