U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
