I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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