bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
