My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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