Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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