Where is the hickey?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
