I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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