just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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