the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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