all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
