Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
