You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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