so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
